At this point I’ve invested hours and hours organizing autistic vulnerability for the digital ether, praying they impresses the little pictures off hot gays inside my cell phone
“Disappointed, I’m going to must pass on an additional day,” they realize. “I didn’t have the fresh new biochemistry I’d expected, and that i you should never get a hold of all of us because the romantically compatible.”
Cue Getting rejected Sensitive Dysphoria: my personal heart rate surges and there’s a burning in my own chest once the everything you I have been taught to dislike from the me personally comes into sharp focus. So it simply lasts from the ten mere seconds-up to I am able to remind me your approval out of cousin visitors will not echo my personal really worth since a person. But even after the latest alarm converts from, there was you to definitely terms banging up to my mind, driving out every other thoughts and you can triggering existential panic: Exactly what the fuck simply taken place?
Effect unclear about personal relations is nothing a new comer to myself. Because the a keen autistic individual, navigating a world designed for allistic individuals (which is, individuals who commonly autistic) consistently feels as though to play a game title in which every person got this new rulebook and i didn’t.
